Tweak: Eat Dinner at the Table
This Tweak is going to be a little bit painful to write because I am going to bare my soul and talk to you about some of the times that cause me the greatest regret as a mother. And as parents know, our shortcomings as moms and dads are the shortcomings that are the hardest to accept. But we learn and we do better.
Nowadays my family eats breakfast and dinner together at the table almost every day. I think this gives us the chance to touch base as a family, creating a stable routine as our day ramps up and winds down. We have a lot of fun, laughs and sometimes some serious conversations. But this wasn’t always the case.
During the worst of my times with a chaotic and cluttered house, a year or two before I met my husband and began to help raise his two daughters, meals at the table were unheard of. My son didn’t get too many homecooked meals between six and eight years of age. We ate fast food just about every day. Most of his meals were eaten in the car or at a picnic table or out of a paper fast food bag while he was watching TV or playing computer games.
We’d head out in the morning to get coffee and donuts or Egg McMuffins. Then my son would snack on stuff like canned fruit and cereal all day. At night we’d either go back out to get fast food or go to a restaurant, or I would order in. When I think back on that time I feel true regret and sadness. My son is fortunate not to have developed a weight problem, and he eats well now, but I’m sad that I didn’t nourish him better when he was a little guy.
Studies seem to suggest a correlation between family dinners at the dinner table and lower drug use and other troubles for teens. I don’t know if family dinners somehow help prevent kids from getting into trouble, or if they are just a feature of many families in which the kids are actively parented. But the link is there.
If you are single or partnered without children, the benefit of eating at the table is just as strong. Eating at the table is a foundation for learning to eat consciously. When your table is cleared and you sit down to eat regularly, you’re more likely to cook and enjoy healthy foods.
Here are some points to consider when preparing to add the Eat Dinner at the Table Tweak to your routine:
- If your table has clutter on it, take a day (or two or three) to declutter it using the 15-minute-a-day declutter method.
- Clear the table right after dinner and give it a quick wipe so that it’s ready for your next meal. Do the dishes or don’t — your call — but making sure that you are ready to set the table without having to do any extra work next time will really help this habit stick.
- If you are buying fast food or take out most nights, bring it home and eat it at the table anyway. Order a pizza or Chinese? Enjoy it at the table. You deserve to eat your food in a nice, calm environment instead of furtively feeding yourself in the car, at your desk or at the coffee table.
- You can gradually make the table nice. Use tableware that makes you happy and consider a centerpiece or some fresh flowers. How about candles? A few years ago I realized that I really like cloth napkins, and now we frequently set the table with them. Find out what you like and what makes your food seem like a “real” meal.
- Try to keep conversation light during family dinners so that the family looks forward to the time. We use our table for family meetings when we need to discuss problems, but never during meal times.
Remember:
Choose no more than one tweak per month – don’t try to pile them on! Practicing a single tweak for at least a full month gives you the best chance of forming a real habit and life change. Do not try to add another tweak until the previous tweak has become a habitual part of your life (this can sometimes take longer than a month).
This is all about loving yourself and creating a joyful life! Therefore, when choosing a new tweak to practice, pick one that is appealing and gives you a sense of anticipation.
Read all the posts about the Eat Dinner at the Table Tweak here.
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Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/linkerjpatrick/
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Your honesty is touching, and your point is well-taken. If I’m not sitting down, I barely even taste my food because I’m scarfing it down so fast. I thank goodness my folks instilled the habit of family dinners in me. Now I’m trying to get it to wear off on my husband!
Plus, those moments when you *don’t* eat a table are extra special. I can still remember a “picnic” we had on the living room floor one night!