You Are Enough and You Have Enough!
If you subscribe to the free Nurturing Hope newsletter you may have noticed that I frequently remind readers, “You are enough and you have enough!” This is an affirmation that I was given by my wonderful life coach, Bill Baren.
“I am enough and I have enough,” immediately resonated with me. Many times in my life I had found myself trying to make up for a sense of inadequacy by putting other people’s needs before my own. In the workplace, I worked long hours and took on unreasonable responsibilities. I got into relationships with people whose addiction issues ensured that I’d be called upon to rescue them. Instead of taking the time to truly nurture myself and put my needs first, I ate as a shortcut way to comfort myself. I ate when I was tired, I ate when I was angry and I ate when I was sad or lonely. I tried to make up for my perceived inadequacy by spending money and buying stuff.
And I always worried that I didn’t have enough or, worse, that I could not trust that I would have enough to survive in the future. If I could afford the food I craved now, I should buy a lot of it and eat as much as I could. Who knows when I would be able to buy it again! I bought my son piles of toys at Christmas because what if next year we were too poor to enjoy Christmas? And of course, when you don’t trust that you’ll have what you need in the future it’s natural to hang on to possessions as much as possible and as long as possible.
I have come to believe that emotional eating and clutter/hoarding both stem from a scarcity mindset. We fear that there isn’t enough love, approval, money, or comfort in the world, and we try to protect ourselves against this scarcity by eating and hoarding.
Where did this scarcity mindset come from? Many of us who struggle with emotional eating and clutter/hoarding didn’t get what we needed as kids or teens. This deprivation takes many forms: abuse or neglect or abandonment from a parent or parent figure, poverty or periods of financial insecurity, trauma or grief to name a few. We gather our piles of possessions around us and eat when we’re not hungry to try to eliminate the fear of not being enough or not having enough.
It’s natural and good to want to keep oneself safe and protect yourself from deprivation, but in the case of emotional eating and clutter, this normal and positive instinct to protect ourselves backfires. The result is a cluttered home and a body weighed down with fat.
What I’m asking you to do when you begin the Tweaks system is to start to trust. Trust yourself and trust the universe to give you what you need when you need it. I know this is scary, but I promise you that offering this trust is a critical part of transforming your life so that you can experience true abundance. When you trust, you can learn to nurture yourself in positive ways and gradually release the stuff that crowds your life and the extra weight that pulls you down.
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4 Responses to “You Are Enough and You Have Enough!”
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I have a little variation on that, I worry that the good food I have (lettuce, apples, etc) will run out, so I “save them” for later and eat the junk first and save the best for later… I realize it is all in my head.
Yep, I used to do this one too, especially when I was worried that the food money would run out when my son was a little guy. Those habits sometimes last long after the financial insecurity is gone.
I just found your blog and am so happy I did. You offer so many great litlle daily insights. I look forward to reading more!
Cara, thank you! I just went to your blog and it’s fantastic
My husband has a green blog, http://www.plasticless.com, you may want to take a look.