How Do You Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed?
Last week, I sent an email to the Nurturing Hope email list with a link to a survey with questions related to our thoughts about clutter and emotional eating. I was amazed at how many people took the time to respond — thank you!
One question asked, “What is the single most challenging issue you face in relation to clutter and/or emotional eating?” Over 80 people answered this question. As I read through the answers, a strong theme stood out:
I just get so overwhelmed with it all, not knowing where to start or where to put things.
I was feeling overwhelmed.
The clutter overwhelms me. I do not know where to begin.
I get overwhelmed.
It is so overwhelming to look at the big picture.
I get overwhelmed with what to do with everything.
Overwhelmed: To be rendered powerless especially by an excessive amount or profusion of something.
“Overwhelmed.” What a perfect word to describe the paralysis that we feel when clutter and emotional eating seem to be controlling our lives. The clutter and the excess weight seem to literally drag us down and immobilize us.
I felt this way for years. Paper, garbage, junk, clothes and stuff piled up higher and higher as if they had a life of their own. And the excess body fat piled on in much the same way. I was literally drowning and yet I felt powerless against the tide of clutter and emotional eating. I felt overwhelmed in every sense of the word.
But then something shifted — not suddenly but gradually. Back then I felt overwhelmed. Now I feel empowered.
How did this happen? I took back control of my life in tiny baby steps. First one little tweak, then another, then another. Sometimes I would backslide — and sometimes I still do — but even when I backslid I was still further ahead than where I started. Three steps forward, one step back — or even three steps forward and two steps back. The sum of the little tweaks was always positive change.
Even now, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by life. What works for me when I recognize that feeling of powerlessness is to take back my power starting with the easiest thing first. I make our bed or I clear my desk or I start a load of laundry. I take a walk in the sunshine. I find some small and do-able way to exert power over my life that I know will make me feel better. I know I don’t have to deal with everything all at once.
“Small and do-able” varies from person to person and situation to situation. If you are feeling overwhelmed, what can you do, right now, to exert just a little power over your life or your home?
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11 Responses to “How Do You Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed?”
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Hi,
Thanks for all your great advice! I really enjoy your emails and did fill out your survey which I found very useful….The problem with being overweight is your metabolism also slows down which saps your energy…I like your idea of small more doable task and a lot of times I will start with a smaller task and work my way up. By doing this I usually can accomplish quite a bit.
I have to agree that the feeling of being overwhelmed rings true for both clutter and weight loss / staying healthy. It’s the single biggest feeling that I have when I start/restart a path to health.
Sometimes the only baby steps I can do is writing on my blog to motivate myself to keep forging ahead with better food choices.
Over the weekend for whatever reason I decided it was time to (re)organize my desk. I certainly felt overwhelmed when I had all sorts of computer equipment and papers piled on my bed. I hated feeling that committed! For me personally, I sometimes need that at first… if only to get started but then I like to be able to continue on with baby steps to get the rest accomplished.
Since I’ve been reading your site, and also looking at some hoarding videos with a friend on Youtube, I’ve decided to take ongoing snapshots of the progress of organizing my desk, which will take a few days to a week but I plan on doing that as a visual reminder. As corny as this might sound, I think doing that is a lot like completing a hike and taking a snapshot of the trail I just completed.
it’s these feelings of accomplishment that ultimately overpower any moments where I might feel overwhelmed.
Get Rid of Your White Elephant…
I have been dealing with clutter issues for a quite some time now. I was knocking my head against the wall not being able to truly pinpoint why I kept repeating the same destructive behavior. Was I trying to look helpless? Was I seeking attention and nurturing that I didn’t get from my parents as a child? Was I just an extreme perfectionist (at procrastinating at least)? Were these control issues?
Then something amazing happened. I reclaimed my space. I separated from my husband. A doomed relationship that has been weighing me down for years. We were not only spiritually incompatible, he was extremely negative. I was letting my situation and reluctance to deal with it fill my life with what I call this “air of dispair”.
I finally got the courage and strength to deal with the proverbial white elephant in the room. And do you know what??? I cleaned my home for 3 hours straight. I picked up & tossed out excess stuff. No more excuses! I have much more to do to get organized but I already feel so much lighter.
Captain “Grey Cloud” has left the building!!! It’s about fargin’ time! Whew!
You’re back!! I missed you!
Kris – exactly what I find – if I take on something small and easy it gives me a sense of accomplishment and then I can tackle progressively more challenging stuff
Chris – I love FlyLady’s advice of only pulling apart what I can deal with and put back in 15 minutes. Otherwise it can be biting off more than I can chew and just make the overwhelm worse
Pictures are a great idea!
Jacqueline – I am reading Brooks Palmer’s new book “Clutter Busting” (I’m going to review the book here when I’m done with it) and he writes some powerful stuff about how relationships can sometimes be clutter — it’s true. What a transformation your life is going through — you found your strength!
Bonnie – Thank you!!
I spent a couple of weeks being overwhelmed myself 
I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed therefore; I am going to bed. It is 8:36 PM here in MA.
This is why I organise the bathroom over and over. I can do that, that’s easy. My problem is that I can’t move BEYOND the bathroom, and on to the rest of the house (if my Mum truly knew how bad it was, she would surely kick me out!). I’m not just overwhelmed, I am completely and utterly paralysed.
I tried Flylady, and I absolutely hated her. She and her endless emails were just nagging clutter, and I do not miss her one bit since I finally summoned up the courage to get rid of her. The worst thing an information junkie and hoarder could do is sign up to those emails, AFAIAC. (I had thousands of them!)
I am finally addressing my weight, slowly, slowly with Weight Watchers (the first thing I have ever actually stuck to) – but it took me six months of meetings before I actually got the scales headed in the RIGHT direction (I’m heavier now than when I started, but only slightly, but like I said, slowly, slowly).
But what about the rest of it? I liken myself to a cyclone, if you were to take an aerial shot of the house, you could tell where I’ve been, there’s one mess here, and here, and here, and here….
I have been dealing with house clutter and body clutter forever but I only recently realised that for me there is a definite link. And I sooo relate to being overwelmed.
But then I had a light bulb moment. It’s just a habit. I become what I do every day. So it’s not really a big long journey. I can be the person I want to be TODAY I can take a walk. I can declutter for 10 minutes. I can buy fresh fruit and vegies. I can start living today as a healthy clutter free person. Suddenly it felt very doable.
I have been decluttering my body in lots of small small ways over the past 6 months. Lost 6 kilos. Feeling WAY healthier. I am not on a diet. I just take each day as it comes and make small changes like for example eating out of smaller bowls. Trying to up my vegies intake. Walking whenever I can. If I eat chocolate. That’s OK. There are no rules as such. I am just trying to live as the person I wish to become and each day I am becomng more like her.
I began decluttering my house around 2 weeks ago. I realised that for me my cupboards are full of stuff that I never use and in many cases have completely forgotten about. This leaves no room for the stuff I actually use which floats around the house and never seems to find a home. So I decided that each day I need to remove one item from a cupboard. Just one. But I have discovered that it’s hard to stop at one. I am amazed at how much impact this has had in even two weeks. Rooms are beginning to look clearer as cupboards are emptied and my loved and used stuff finally finds a home. My three year old looked around the room a few days ago and asked “Where have all the things gone?” I am now looking forward to declutterirng. Who would have thought??
Natalie – Great to read your comment! I know FlyLady’ sapproach has its fans and not-so-fans — I have found some of her ideas SO helpful, but it’s true that the emails can be overwhelming! I think she herself has said to take what works and just leave the rest.
Anita – I am so excited to hear that things are on track. Those lightbulb moments can be amazing. Something shifts and reality is just DIFFERENT suddenly.
When I don’t know where to start, the easiest thing to do is grab one bag, fill it up and throw it out.
In that process, if I find items that are useful and in good condition, I load up the trunk of the car and haul them to the local consignment shop. If they won’t accept the items, I haul it all to Hospice for their gigantic yard sale.
It only takes a load or two to start feeling the difference.
2009 is the year I’m determined to get my home (and my life) under control.
I love this post, and found it really helpful, so I talked about it on my blog
Feeling overwhelmed is a big barrier for me, to making progress.