One Tweak Per Month — Why Not More?

January 13, 2009 · Posted in The System

When starting on a course of self-improvement, we’re enthusiastic. We want to go all out and get it “done” as quickly as possible. So when starting on the Tweaks System it’s natural to be tempted to take on three, maybe four — or how about five? — tweaks right away. The more we do right now, the faster our lives will be fixed, right?

We’ve all started calorie-restricted diets, certain that this time we’re going to lose the weight. Many of us are very good at dieting, and we can be really tough with ourselves for long enough to lose 20 pounds, 50 pounds, even 100 pounds or more on a strict low calorie or low carb diet. But the weight we lose on restrictive diets almost always comes back, and study after study provides the statistics to prove it.

And we’ve all done the crisis cleaning, working 24 hours straight to get the house clean because relatives are going to visit, a repairman needs to come fix something, or just because you can’t take it anymore. And sometimes crisis cleaning is necessary — for some of us who really struggle with hoarding, crisis cleaning may make the difference between getting kicked out of an apartment or not, or even between losing our kids or keeping them But I know that whenever I crisis cleaned the house stayed clean for maybe a day or two. And then the clutter took over so fast it could give you whiplash.

What happens after the diet or after the crisis clean? We’re emotionally and physically exhausted. We accomplished the lost pounds or the tidy house at a huge cost because we drove ourselves so hard, restricting ourselves viciously. We deprived ourselves of rest, free time or food when we are hungry. We think the only way we can get what we want from life is to treat ourselves worse than we would treat an enemy. We punish ourselves more harshly than an overly strict parent punishes a child. We feel that we are unworthy of our own trust and love. This approach sets us up for burnout, rebellion and failure.

So we yo-yo. Diet and binge. Clean for hours and days on end and then collapse in a heap unwilling to do housework again. What if there is a balance or, as the Buddhists say, a middle path?

This is the philosophy behind the Tweaks System, and it is the reality of the approach that ended up working for me. My life transformation has been made up of many changes, most of them very small, and all of them gradual. Gradual improvement coming from new habits taken on one at a time is a loving way to treat yourself, but it is also the way to accomplish successful change. This is why I encourage people as strongly as possible to take this journey just one tweak at a time. Enjoy the gradual improvements, embrace them, and give yourself time to adjust to them.

We’re all hoping and planning to live this precious life for a long time to come. When you look back one year or three years or five years from now, do you want to see a gradual, steady trend of improved habits that led to true transformation, or just the familiar rollercoaster story of dieting and crisis cleaning?

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